Empathy Deficit Disorder

In our coaching work with clients, we use a battery of assessments. One of those is a self-assessment of developed competencies that are relevant to leadership in the workplace. The lowest mean in the U. S. population is in futuristic thinking (2.8 on a scale of 0-10). So, most of us don't think we're adept at seeing the future clearly. That makes sense. The future, by definition, is hard to see.

The second lowest mean is in the skill of empathy. On average, we give ourselves a score of 3.8 out of 10 in this skill so critically related to the overall health and well-being of every organization. In some ways, I would argue, we ought to suspend all other efforts in regard to growth and all focus singularly on this essential human ability. Unlike futuristic thinking which requires seeing things that don't exist, empathy involves seeing something that is very clearly around us, the pain of others.

I suspect that our deficit in empathy is related to and has grown out of our narcissistic culture. As many have pointed out, America over time has become an egocentric society. We may have one generation identified as the "me generation," but all the others that have followed the "greatest generation" seem to be infected at some level with this U. S. pandemic. 

Empathy and narcissism are like oil and water. They simply do not mix. At a conference on the future of leadership this past weekend, I noticed that all of the speakers without exception mentioned the character trait of humility. This is the antidote to narcissism and the root of empathy. Humility recognizes our lack and allows us to identify with others who similarly lack. Pride, on the other hand, blinds us to others and ourselves.

We talk often of ADD (attention deficit disorder). I am beginning to think that the most under diagnosed problem we have is EDD (empathy deficit disorder). No skill is more critical to our overall success in our teams, organizations or society at large. What can you do today to increase your empathy for others around you?