What You Don't Know about Introverts Is Hurting Everybody

This originally appeared on the Price Associates blog May 14, 2014.

Andy Johnson, author of Pushing Back Entropy, is a passionate speaker, an executive coach, and a former minister. This much anyone can see. But what you may not know about Andy is that he’s also an introvert.

Andy’s early career was filled with struggles that he later identified as conflict between his authentic, introverted self and the world’s view of how leaders should behave. Andy grew to recognize his own struggle—and how to overcome it—through his work as a licensed professional counselor, and as an expert in team conflict resolution and prevention.

Our culture is at odds with introversion right now, he says, and it’s hurting everyone. Historically, some of the world’s great leaders have been introverted: John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln, for instance. Yet current leadership rhetoric glorifies extroverted behaviors, undermining the unique strengths of introversion, and placing introverts at odds with themselves and the wider world.

Andy’s made it his mission to change this through one-on-one coaching, his website Introvert Revolution, and his upcoming book on “quiet leaders.” We asked Andy to share with us some insight into the nature of introversion, and how to embrace and unleash the power of introversion in yourself and your organization.

Let’s start with a definition. You’ve said that “introvert” does not equal “wallflower.” So, what does it mean to be an introvert?

Introverts have defining characteristics that have nothing to do with shyness or being anti-social or any of the common stereotypes that are out there. One of the most noteworthy aspects of introversion is the fact that we use different neural pathways. We tend to be in our heads. We have a real sensitivity to dopamine, whereas extroverts really crave it. If we get too much, it actually doesn’t feel good, so we don’t need a whole lot of stimulus from the outside, because there’s so much going on inside.

Introversion impacts the way that we think, and the speed with which we think and process information. I vehemently disagree with the myth that we’re shy. I’m actually not shy. But when there’s a meeting and everybody’s trying to process in the moment, that’s when it’s hard to be an introvert. Sometimes I have feedback for you in the moment, but most of the time it’s three hours later or the next morning, and here comes a great idea.

So it’s in our head-ness. We love to solve complex problems and it takes a whole lot of brain power to do that. We don’t do as well when there’s over-stimulation in the environment. And I’ve learned that’s totally fine. It’s just the way that my brain works differently from a more extroverted person.

Were you always confident in your status as an introvert, or was it something you came to terms with?

I didn’t know I was one for most of my life, although there were signs. In high school, I was picked as “Quietest.” Me and Nancy Mooneyham, which I think meant that there were quieter people in the school, but nobody knew who they were. So we were the people that were known enough to get votes, who were perceived as quiet.

Then in college, I remember taking a speech class as a sophomore at Cal Poly that was torture. I hated it. They made us do speeches about stupid things. I think I had to do a speech on cotton. I was very self-aware, and very nervous. But at the same time, I was doing presentations in my architecture classes all the time that were never really stressful. I was a bit of a perfectionist, so I had a really good project to put on the wall, and was able to talk with a lot of passion.

Later in my career I had a sense of being called into the ministry, which is of course very vocal. As I went into church to speak on a regular basis, that’s when I encountered my first real opposition. I had somebody who was extremely extroverted take me down all around. You’re not funny enough. You need to tell more stories. My preaching was criticized, my leadership style was criticized. I had already had a career in architecture, and led a firm with introverted partners. So it was weird when I ran into this. I didn’t have language to describe it, but I ran into this extroverted ideal in a church context, and got my lunch eaten by it.

I went back to school and got a degree in counseling, and then I ended up back in a church again. And that same opposition happened again. So over time my introversion was not appreciated, although I didn’t realize that was the issue. Back then I would have said I was an extrovert. I can talk in front of a lot of people, I’m confident. I remember very consciously taking the Myers-Briggs and coming up as an extrovert.

And all the while I was in an environment which was becoming increasingly rejecting of who I was. So I was really searching for personal explanations to help me understand what I was going through. Was there something wrong with me? Because that’s what an introvert can often feel in this culture: there’s something wrong with me. That’s generally the way it comes at them.

It was working with Ron Price where I took the DISC assessment and connected the dots. And it was like “Oh!” And then in 2012 Quiet (by Susan Cain) came out, which is THE book. That pushed me all the way over the top.

There’s quite a bit of literature around pushing introverts to “speak up” and “jump in.” You have a problem with that, don’t you?

It’s not about helping introverts be extroverts. That’s completely wrong. The whole point of my approach is helping introverts feel validated and empowered, leading from their authentic self. Just as in The Complete Leader, where the 25th competency is leading from the authentic you, that’s the thing that introverted leaders need to do.

They really have to become aware about all of the bias that’s in the majority of what they’ve read and heard. The whole culture’s telling them to be some extraverted ideal. I’m telling them “No, you’re not that, you are x. Now figure out what x looks like and go be that!”

Which means that you’ve got to deliberately and intentionally discover the best ways for you to lead, for you to be who you are. It gets down into methodology and processes. For example, how you give feedback into the system. If you’re not an extrovert, then don’t beat yourself up for not speaking out in the meeting. Just accept it and it’s fine. Then figure out what is a healthy way for you to give the feedback the system needs you to give. Perhaps as the thoughts come to you, you send them in an email or set up a follow-up meeting, whatever you have to do.

But what you don’t do as introverted leaders is continue to live in that extrovert ideal. Because doing so is beating the heck out of you. Not only is the system saying you need to speak up, but then because you’re an introvert — and introverts tend to be more self-critical anyway — you grab that negative energy and start hammering on yourself. You get a double whammy: the culture invalidates you and then you invalidate yourself.

So most introverted leaders are walking around really firing on what may be half of their cylinders. They’re still producing, but there’s a huge upside if we can get them being who they are instead of trying to ape people who are different.

It’s feeling empowered. That’s the word I keep coming back to. Don’t feel powerless.

In your book on entropy, you talk about self-awareness, authenticity, and their connection to wellness. Is there a parallel between those concepts and your work with introverts?

Yes. Entropy is gravity, it just happens. If you do nothing, you’ll go downhill naturally. Conflict is one of the major things at the bottom, but also apathy and other negative behaviors. I see the pattern over and over.

At the top of the hill there’s physical health, mental health, less stress, empowerment. But we can’t get there if we keep getting pulled back down by our defense mechanisms, like denial. Whether it’s companies or individuals, things can be a mess and we pretend things are fine — even though everyone knows they’re not. Elephants are in the room that we’re dancing around.

Denial of our authentic selves as introverts is one of these elephants, a force that can pull us back down that hillside. It’s a lengthy process, not a quick fix, but working toward accepting the vision of who you are is always worth the effort.